Today is International Women's Day, a day to celebrate the past, the present, and the future of women's achievements! This year's theme is Connecting Girls, Inspiring Women.
Even today there are injustices all over the world concerning the rights of women. It is unfortunate and disheartening. But I believe that we live in a century of empowerment. The internet has given the world a voice. People have access to information like NEVER before.
Knowledge is Power.
I could save this story for Mother's day, but I'm going to share it today because it has reminded me of where I came from.
The truth is that my mother and I have a complicated relationship. We LOVE each other dearly, but there is sometimes a struggle of understanding. Now that I am a mother, I get why there is that struggle. But, that doesn't mean I don't respect her or the things she has done in order to give me the life I have now. I wish I would have understood it while growing up, but I was a selfish teenager and couldn't see past my own world.
When I was 13, my parents divorced. It was probably a good thing as they were in a passionate, yet volatile relationship. There were problems and my mother felt necessary to take the reigns and get us out of a situation that would have been detrimental to the future of our family. Now, just so you know I love my Dad. But, he is human and made mistakes in his life.
I'll give you the short version of our life after the divorce. My mom worked at our local county library, in a pretty big town - not city mind you. When my parent's divorced, she was the only one to provide for us and was making MAYBE a little over minimum wage. This was back in the early 90's.
She won the car in the divorce and unfortunately didn't win on that one because it didn't last very long. She had already decided to get us bikes, and had put them on layaway at the local walmart. I'm not sure how much they cost, but I was elated. I was also homeschooled for two years prior to the divorce and would be entering junior high in the 7th grade. I just thought it would be a great way to get to school.
Then the car died. And she didn't have the money to replace it. So she sold the car for parts and paid off the layaway. This was the beginning of my torture as a teenager.
With little money and bicycles, we did EVERYTHING on those two wheels. Grocery shopped, went to church, movies... if we had to be somewhere, we used our bikes. I was already being made fun of because I was amazonian tall and had big unruly curly hair - this was the topping and I was not happy about it.
My diet at the time consisted of MASSIVE amounts of PB&J, Tuna fish sandwiches, Yogurt, Beans and Jasmine rice from the Flea Market and Fried Egg Sandwiches. All these things, store brand, meant cheap eats that were full of sustenance.
But, eventually things began to change for us. My mom went back to school, taking the public transportation over the bridge to the local community college and then eventually got a new job at the school board as a secretary and bought a car because we were TOO far away to bike. So, she bought a 1970's something blue tank with a radiator problem that drove like a bullet out of a shotgun. We had to keep gallons of water in the massive you-could-hide-a-dead-body-in-here trunk, and we weren't able to drive very far because of it. Then we moved into the teeniest tiniest of homes. It was 3 beadrooms with a living room and couldn't have been more than 500 sqft. My mom took the room that was more like a closet and my brother and I got the two massive bedrooms. That was when she was really into healthy eating... but that is a different story.
She graduated with her AS in programming and went from secretary to programmer in what I can remember in 2 years. She got a huge pay raise and she bought a new car. It was a Chevy Sprint. It was ridiculously cute, even made it to Oklahoma and back, and eventually became mine. Then she bought a house...
WAIT.
Did I mention that this woman did all this without ANY help? Aside from a Pell Grant she received for going back to college. Everything she did, she did on her own. No family help, and for a long time without ANY child support. Even my dad's family didn't make sure that my brother and I had food to eat. She did it all on her own.
She had no support system. And I was a HORRIBLE teenage child. My world at the time, revolved around me. I was ungrateful. But today, I am the age my mother was when she divorced my dad. I am not in the same situation. But I have realized that I where I am today because of her.
Today, my mom owns 3 homes. She's married to a man that treats her like a queen, and she's attempting to do something she's always wanted - be an children's author.
This may be a long post, but it's short in comparison to life that my mother gave to my brother and myself. We went from meagerly living to an abundant life. Sometimes I forget that. I'm a bit selfish now, but memories like these bring me back and realize that while I can quote powerful women like Oprah, Eleanor Roosevelt, Margaret Meade - but I am blood related to a powerful and empowering woman. She is welcome to her criticisms and her opinions in this world because she has earned them. And though we may not always agree, I do find it easier to respect her because of the things she did for her children.
My Mother is inspiring. She is empowering. I hope that your Mother is that for you too. This Woman's Day, tell your mother how she inspires you and share your story with the other women and girls in your life to inspire them too.
